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By: DJ Booker
A big problem that people today seem to have is the need to fit in. The need to be popular and have popular friends. Now, I can admit that I was once the victim of such a problem. Actually, I experienced this problem twice in my lifetime. See, I had overcome this problem a long time ago, but I eventually had a serious head injury that made me temporarily lose much of my memory (and therefore most of my wisdom), so it was like I had to start over and overcome it again. So I feel I have a good understanding of it.
This need, I think, comes from a few things. Society as a whole is probably the biggest factor. Society tells you that if you aren’t popular and/or if you don’t have popular friends, you’re a failure. This dogma that society places on everyone’s head is not easily overcome. What you have to realize is that true bliss comes from within, and the heights you can reach by following your own dreams are far greater than anything that society can provide. You don’t need to follow the rules that society places to achieve happiness, you can achieve it by conquering yourself. To live life like you want to is the ultimate success.
Family and friends are pretty much what make up society. Your parents are the ones who primarily raise you, so they are responsible for having a large affect on your personality/outlook on life. Of course, there are always exceptions, but for the majority of people, parents are a major factor. The way parents can induce a sense of insecurity in their children is through their interactions with others. For instance, people like their friends. You may be thinking “duh, obviously”, but it can work on children in such subtle ways that you would be surprised. They may not even know that they are sending the messages that they do since they may have been the victim of the same thing from their parents. The negative influence that parents can have is a hard one to block out, since it is your parents who you live with for a large chunk of time when you are growing up. So I think you should always step back and look at things from your own point of view and never assume that everything your parents tell you is true. Yes they may have been around a lot longer, but still many times they are too set in their own ways to see their own faults. Also, they too could be the product of the dogma of society.
Friends are also a huge factor. Who you hang out with can have a great influence on your personal values. So choosing friends who like you for who you are is very important. Even if it means not being popular and having very few friends. Having one true friend who likes you for who you are is better than having 20 friends who like you for other ridiculous reasons such as how popular you are. You may be thinking, “but I have so much fun with so and so, or such and such group” but it is nothing compared to the fun you can have with people who are true friends.
So in my opinion, much more independent thinking is needed before this problem can be solved . My advice to you is to always be yourself no matter what the consequences, because in my opinion, losing yourself is the worst thing you can do. Anyone who doesn’t like you for who you are can go jump off a tall building.
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